I Need Some Advice

[kindaconfuzed]

Guys

Can yu guys help me out here, do yer wives say any of the following to yer or am I in an abusive relationship.

Here goes:-

"Why am I still working (the wifey) and yu are sittin down watchin sport and drinkin beer?" cos yu woman can't plan yer day thats why!

"We woman don't need yu men!" There probably right so why do they bother - a free beer for any answer that gets anywhere near explaining this one.

"I don't trust men, how do I know yer not a pervert too?" I'm normally accused of this when the wife hears of a court case or when her sister's best friend's husband has been caught wearing her underwear. That's another story I'll put on the back burner for now.

I'm also accused of this when someone well known is found being a cross dresser (this doesnt mean he's angry with his clothes).

"You need to see a psychiatrist" Now I can tell her, I have and he says I'm sane, what about you?

"yer just like yer father" How does she know this when even I don't talk to him. Are we just a normal dysfunctional family - what is normal anyway?

Has she got a plan to bugger off and leave me when I stop earning? Yu guys have to watch out for this one, the old women are a lot more calculating than us men. We might lose are temper and lash out but they are planning their campaigns and strategies all their lives, from birth I reckon.

Now I've warned yer so don't go winging into yer beer in the Long Bar if it happens to yu. You'll know me in the LB, I'm the one wearing red panties -oops its out now! But some of the under wear does look kinda nice- I'll have to fight this one .... bloody hell I hate wearing stockings the seem always twists around!

The wife has also told me she wouldn't be surprised to come home and find me in her underwear, not sure where this one comes from cos I'm not that way inclined at all, but how can I say this after what I have just written, its another trip to the psych.

I think this stems from her distrust of us males, now this doesn't stem from my behaviour towards her so there are some buggers out there who have let her down previously and have a lot to answer for and if I ever catch up with them there will be truble (but then they maybe in womens clothes and wearing red panties!)

Now my wifey is not a 10 pinter (10 pints and yer would) she's a niner!!!

- now I am kinda confuzed.

Ps Handmade can I wipe all this off when I "come out?"

[Anonymous]

Get used to it Kinda, your relationship sounds pretty normal to me :-). As long as you maintain a good sense of humour you will survive and so will she.

Some things to remember.

The grass is not greener on the other side. The truth is that you probably will have to dig up the old sh*t and re-plant new grass. After years of work it rarely gets any greener than it was at the start.

Unless you can find a new woman with no baggage you will be more than likely do worse instead of better. A woman with no baggage is either too young or has no depth. When you reach middle age you would be rather fortunate to find a suitable woman, but her baggage will probably weigh both of you down. Better the devil you do know ....

It's not everyone who gets to share a life with with someone special. Mke the best of it while you can.

[handmade]

Hey Kinda, say the word and all can be 'lost'.

Last time I chatted to the kids on the phone, the missus was home and happy. Maybe I should check out of the pub for a change and see how she's doing :-). Problem is that in this heat the beer will probably get bloody warm while I'm gone.

Aborigine saying.
Um wife is like boomerang. Throw away. If she no come back, find new wife. If she come back you better watch out cos, she likely to sock you in the mouth real hard.