New Year Resolutions

[kindaconfuzed]

I'm not going to use me wifes razor to shave me legs.

I'm not going to use all her shaving cream.

I'm goin to tell her I love her more tee hee.

I'll take her breakfast in return for a morning l*g over.

I'm a normal healthy male so why dont we experiment a bit more!

It must be normal if I want to do it, we can learn a lot from animals!

I'm not goin to number the toilet paper sheets anymore, she can use as much as she wants... what the hell.

Shes not goin to leave her br**sts flopping all over the breakfast table, where I can mistake them for fried eggs.

Shes gonna get rid of the beer froth off her moustache more often when she drinks.

She promises to put her false teeth in when we go out for a meal.

I'm goin to tell her I like the mother in law and she looks nothin like her mum.

I'm not goin to be so selfish as to enjoy meself at parties.

I'm not goin to wear her underwear ... oh no its out now what are the guys in the long bar gonna think!

Just lie back and think of England, at least one of us can enjoy it.

Shes gonna listen to more of my jazz music.

She's gonna promise not to take me mixers out of the fridge to put food in there.

She's gonna laugh at my jokes.